Truth be told....

The magic of social media is that you can control your image. You can post things to Instagram and Facebook all manipulated by the individuals choice. The image that you have an amazing adventurous, glamourous life. We only give and share what we think or deem appropriate. There isn't a person alive using social media who doesn't censor themselves to a certain degree, myself included. I didn't even disclose all the many things that happened in Alaska, my reason for leaving early and the whirlwind spiral my life was after that shit storm was over.... there's a lot that happened but I wasn't ready to share it (that's a post for another day though longer and with more detail).

I have finally settled here in New Mexico with my amazing boyfriend. Trying to settle back into a mirror image of what my life was in Arizona, a multitude of jobs I don't love, yoga which I do love and keeps me sane from my inability to adventure and see the world......and currently I'm eavesdropping at a coffee shop. 

I'm entering data for a job I'm good at but don't love, it's interesting and makes me seem intelligent, but it doesn't fulfill me. After years of bartending I'm a master at following other peoples conversations from across the room. A man I've never met is talking to a Frenchman he's never met and they begin talking about the Frenchman's amazing story and life. The Frenchman is a sturdy earth toned adventurer, with a salt and pepper curled ponytail with scruff around his face and a mischievous spark to his eye, as he speaks about his dream to explore the terrains of America. Hearing them talk makes me feel at home, the stirr of butterflies begins to flutter in my stomach and I'm involuntarily smiling at the thought of adventure, on the edge of a cliff so high you are swallowed up whole in a cloud. 

 I'm not meant for a normal life. I should stop trying to shove myself back into a cookie cutter world when things go bad. Truth be told no one is meant to be put in a box.